


I'm fine, I'm alright, I'm well

by silentdroplets



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Depression, Light Angst, just everyone being supportive, very subtle mention of summer rose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2018-12-02 14:11:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11511048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentdroplets/pseuds/silentdroplets
Summary: The nightmare Summer Rose has left behind is still rewinding - replaying in Ruby's mind.But all Ruby can do is put on a smile, parrot the same few words with as much enthusiasm she can find in herself:"I'm fine; I'm alright!"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> for koen, my best friend who also forced me to watch RWBY and got me a bit too attached to Pyrrha. this is for you.

_"I'll be back, I promise."_

_You lied, mum. You left me alone._

_Why?_

She is greeted by silent screams and tears rolling down her cheeks when she comes to.

_Oh. I'm awake._

Ruby stays motionless under the covers, staring at the dark in front of her eyes. It's hard to move, despite knowing full well that the day has started and sunlight is already threatening to spill into her bed. It's the weight on her chest that pushes her down, gravity pulling at her shoulders and the thoughts in her mind telling her to stay put, and then the next moment she's falling, falling, falling-

"Ruby Rose, get _up_ already! You're going to be late for classes, you dunce!"

Today is a bad day.

She forces her eyes open and looks at Weiss through heavy lashes that seem to be weighed down by an intangible mass.

"Wha-What time is it?" she asks. There it is. The strain of pushing her usual cheer into her voice. Ruby is positive that she won't get through the day without having someone ask her if she's alright. She isn't.

But she's got a responsibility now. _It isn't about you anymore_ , she had told Jaune. _It's about your team, too._

So she shoves down her tears and looks at Weiss properly as she belts out yet another string of insults and throws her skirt at her bed. She can't afford to lose her composure, not when she's a leader now.

"Oh, it's that late?" she exclaims, pulling the skirt Weiss had thrown at her and slinging it over her shoulder as she pulls the covers away from her and jumps down. "Why didn't I wake up earlier?"

"Because you were so deep asleep you didn't hear the alarm, dummy," Weiss retorts, rolling her eyes. "Now, go get changed and then we'll go have breakfast, alright?" She puts her timetable into her pocket and walks out, Blake following behind her.

Alright. She can probably handle changing and getting to the dining hall without breaking down.

She shrugs her pyjamas on and starts putting on her clothes, but with every movement she makes, she finds it increasingly difficult to do so.

_Why did you leave me to fight this battle alone?_

The question hangs above her mind like a cloud, only this time it's a cumulonimbus cloud that's turning into a tornado and all of a sudden her lungs are constricting and she can't think properly and-

"Sis?"

Ruby turns around to see Yang staring at her with concern written all over her face.

"You've been trying to change for five whole minutes now. Are you okay?"

"Nah, I'm fine!" she belts out. "What makes you think otherwise?"

"I never said I was thinking otherwise," the taller girl says. "Are you sure you're fine?"

Ruby gives her a thumbs-up and pulls her blouse over her head.

"Yep, definitely! New day, great mood, happy me!"

Yang raises an eyebrow at the statement, but doesn't question her any longer. "We'll see you outside, then!"

"Sure thing!"

The moment the door clicks shut behind Yang, Ruby sighs. The room sighs back at her in a quiet echo of sympathy.

"I'm doing a bad job at this, aren't I?" she asks the air. It doesn't reply.

She pulls on her cloak, fastens Crescent Rose to her waist, and takes a deep breath.

Then she walks out of the room.

—

"In the field, one should always make sure to stay calm and look out for the enemy's weak spots before..."

The rest of Professor Port's words blur into white noise.

She can't focus.

Okay, she's never been able to focus properly during lessons before.

This time, however, the apple and spoonful of cereal she'd had for breakfast now swim in her stomach, freestyle, kicking up a wave of nausea that just keeps washing over her - just like the other times the weight of guilt and frustration had sunk onto her abdomen. She can't concentrate, not with the earthquake shaking up her emotions on the inside.

But she's always been one to pay no attention to what the professors had to say during their lectures.

This should be easy.

She slumps over the desk and, picking up her pencil with as much effort she can possibly muster at this point in time, shakily marks seven words in the corner of her notebook.

_Please, let me out of this nightmare._

—

The last class of the day is a sparring class.

Ruby isn't sure she can make it through the rest of the day, really, because all she wants to do now is throw up whatever bit of lunch she's had and lie in bed for the rest of the week.

 _Preferably for the rest of my life_ , she allows herself to think, sourly, but promptly shakes it out of her head.

She is paired up with Nora, and all she can think is a string of curses.

When the battle commences, Ruby stands in the middle of the arena, Crescent Rose heavy in her hands and Nora's excited babble ringing in her ears. She can't fight, not in this condition.

_It's not about me now, though._

She pulls her eyes away from the haze they were suspended in and tries valiantly to focus on the girl running towards her, Magnhild raised and ready to strike.

_Concentrate, Ruby! Just a bit more, and you can pass out for all you or anyone else cares!_

She shakes her head - once, twice, and then she's sprinting at Nora on unsteady legs and her weapon pulled above her head, aimed at the other girl. She sees the other girl smirk, and before she can even comprehend what's going on, she's pinned to the ground, the wind knocked out of her lungs and a very concerned Nora staring at her from above.

"Ruby? Are you okay?" she asks.

Ruby feels numb. She doesn't know what else to feel. Anything other than _fine_ and _alright_ and _well._

All she really wants right now is to fall into her mother's embrace and soothing words telling her that _it will be all right_ and she _will be back_ , and this time she'll keep her word and she'll really, _really_ be back home the next time Ruby raises her head to watch the door swing open from the table she's sitting at.

But nothing she wishes for will come true. The dead don't rise back to life no matter how many times you pray for them to come back to you.

So she smiles. It's all she can do.

"I'm fine!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That was in the past. Her team is her present and will be her future.
> 
> She will be fine. She will be alright. She will be well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise bitches this year-old one shot has transformed into a 2-chapter story! decided to write fanfic again after a loooooong hiatus (since ive been working on original stories rather than fanfic) and wanted to expand on this story so here it is!

Ruby finds out during the shower that she had forgotten to activate her Aura properly during the sparring lesson. The result is a big bruise blossoming across her sternum, blue and purple and a little red. She’s never really gotten many injuries in her life before (thanks to her awesome battle strategies and Aura manipulation), so she turns to Yang for help. She’s been in bar fights and has handled multiple bruises to the eye even when the opposite party’s beaten to a pulp. She would know what to do.

Yang sighs. “That’s a big one right there - I’ve got to hand it to you, Ruby,” she says, an eyebrow raised while she applies some ointment she’s had hidden under her pillow. “Whatever gave you this huge thing?”

“Nora’s weapon.”

“You mean, during the sparring class? When you got pinned down after ten seconds on the arena?”

“Uh, I-I guess so.”

Her sister gets a roll of bandage out from her desk drawer and begins to unroll it.

“What do I need that for?” Ruby asks, alarmed.

Yang tears off a strip and stretches it. “You didn’t activate your Aura, did you?” she asks, not waiting for a reply. “Nora’s strength is insane, if you haven’t noticed before. I’m making sure you haven’t fractured a rib or something, and if you did, you have some support to heal up.”

Ruby nods. “Thanks, sis.”

Yang laughs and ruffles the younger girl’s hair. “No problem at all!”

When Ruby has fallen asleep Yang turns to face her bed from where she lies.

“Please, take care of yourself, sis.”

-

Ruby realises her notebook had been filled with incoherent scribbles from the past few days when Professor Port announces a quiz a week from then and Dr Oobleck reminds the class of a test on the same day.

She scurries to dig out her textbooks and is dismayed to find out that even with the information in them, she cannot understand a single thing. What are the Goliath’s weak spots? When were Faunus’ rights given to them? Why did Atlas grow so quickly? She doesn’t know and she won’t graduate. Thanks, past her.

Weiss cuts her off even before she had begun to speak. “No, I won’t be free to accompany you to the city to get cookies, Ruby,” she snaps from behind her neatly-arranged notes. “Go find someone else.”  
  
Ruby takes a step back. “Actually,” she tries to clarify, “I wanted to ask you-“

“If you could use my weapon in another insane experiment? Sorry, but weapons are for fighting, not for mock javelin throwing. Go find Pyrrha for that.”

“Hey, that was an official experiment, alright? At least we know your weapon can go further than Jaune’s.”

Ruby halts. This isn’t helping.

“And then you hurled Blake’s into the forest.”

She can’t stop there, though.

“And it won!”

Weiss throws a poorly-aimed book at Ruby while she reads her papers. “Just, no. Go and find someone else to play with. I need to study.”

Ruby realises what she’s here for. “Alright, actually, Weiss, I need some help,” she explains, smiling sheepishly when the other girl looks up from her books to stare at her. “The Grimm and history tests are coming up and I’ve, you know, not really paid much attention in class soIwashopingyoucouldhelpme _sinceyou’resmart_?”

Weiss sets her book down. “This is a first, Ruby,” she says, her voice lacking the usual ice for once. “Even when you were drawing Professor Port caricatures and making fart noises in class you would still be scoring decent grades. Academics were the least of your worries. What’s up with you now?”

_You’re alright. You don’t need to say why. Suck it up, Ruby Rose!_

“Nothing, it’s just- the topics have been getting harder, you know, aaaaand…”

Weiss considers it for a while. “Well, it _is_ true that the fields of study are getting deeper,” she ponders out loud. She nods back at Ruby. “Alright, then, I’ll help you study. It’ll be some practice for me as well, anyway,” she tells her.

“Alright! Thank you, Ice Queen!”  
  
“Any more nicknames and I will drop the teaching. Let’s go to the library - they have more resources there that I can use.”

“Alright, _Weiss!_ ”  
  
She stays back to gather her own notes into a file, watches Ruby scuttle out of the room and sighs.

“You’re clearly not alright, you’re going to need all the help you can get.”

-

If she had one flaw to name about herself, it would be that she simply cannot leave a place without first announcing her departure with rose petals scattered everywhere.

Blake finds her standing atop the school, watching tiny Nevermores soar against the cracked moon. _It’s unusual of Ruby to stand alone up here instead of causing some trouble in the dorm at this time_ , the Faunus thinks to herself before she taps the younger girl on the shoulder to alert her of her presence.

Ruby jumps at the touch and whirls around, babbling about how she couldn’t sleep because of the coffee she had chugged earlier and that she was sorry, she would go down to her room now-

“Oh, Blake, it’s just you.” She sighs in relief.

Blake doesn’t say anything, just takes her spot next to Ruby and looks towards the lights of the Beacon Tower. It’s a particularly clear night, the absence of clouds making way for stars glittering at them. Ruby turns back to watch the sky as well.

After a while, Blake is the one to break the silence.  
  
“Why can’t you sleep?”

It’s an easy enough question. All Ruby needs to say is that she mentioned the coffee she drank earlier, that it was a bet between her and Nora to find out who could stay spaced out the longest during dinner, but for some reason, she can’t bring herself to speak any lies.

“I-I was thinking about my mother.”  
  
“Do you miss her?”  
  
Of course she does. She’s had more than one of such nights, crying when she realises her mother isn’t actually there, that she was just dreaming.

“Yeah.” She doesn’t want to say any more.

Blake adjusts the bow on her head and rests her hands on her lap. “Me too.”

Ruby turns to face her. “You too? But I thought you’re cool and quiet, stuff like that.” She lets it trail off.

“I too have parents, Ruby, and I’m not exactly emotionless as well.”

“Right.”

“I haven’t gotten the chance to send them any letters, or call them, you know, that sort of things, but at least it’s gratifying to know that they’re still alive.”

Ruby flinches at her last word. _Alive_.

“I- Well, I guess I can’t exactly say the same for my own,” she laughs, a bitter taste in her mouth. It’s Blake’s turn to turn around and face Ruby with furrowed eyebrows and droopy ears.

“I didn’t realise that,” she says. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’ll be fine.”

Ruby turns to leave, but not before Blake grabs her hand and stops her in her tracks.

“You’ll always have our backs when you need it, Ruby. You don’t have to put it all on yourself.”

She stifles a sob and chokes out a grin. “Thank you, Blake.”

Blake stays on the rooftop while Ruby walks back down to the dorms.

“We’ll help you whenever you need, Ruby.”

-

Qrow is sitting in the middle of their dorm with Ruby and Yang in front of a screen, having won twenty battles in a row with Yang hurling her scroll at him in frustration after listening to one too many “inappropriate stories”.

When Yang storms off and out of the dorm, Ruby takes her place and starts playing.

“So, kiddo, what’s up these days?”

She jabs at the scroll as hard as she can. “Nothing much, really,” she grits through clenched teeth as she dodges Soaring Ninja’s kick. “Preparing for the Vytal Festival has been hard work, though!”  
  
Qrow scoffs. “Hard, huh?” he snorts with a dodge from Ruby’s surprise attack. “You’ll know what’s hard when you get out there, just like how even our team faced this cultural shock when they stepped into those woods.”

“Team STRQ, right?”

“Right. The coolest team to ever graduate from Beacon.”

“How was Mom like?"

Qrow stops tapping at his screen. “Well,” he thinks for a bit, “she was pretty good with holding her ground out there - in fact, she was one of the strongest members among us.”

He laughs and resumes delivering merciless swings of Soaring Ninja’s sword. “We were more surprised that Taiyang got her, given his terrible fashion sense and pickup lines. We thought she’d pursue her career as a Huntress.”

“But it was cut short, wasn’t it?” The game announces Soaring Ninja as the winner and Qrow turns to her.

“Yeah, it was.” He keeps a sharp eye on Ruby as she hugs her knees. “How are you coping with it?”

“Not too good.”

He sighs, pulling out the team photograph he had kept in his pocket and brandishing it to her. “When we first learnt of Summer’s death, we were torn to bits,” he says. “Taiyang, especially. He blamed himself for it - it was a tough time for all of us.

“But it was because we stuck together as a team that we managed to get through this together, you know? We comforted your dad, each other, and we were pretty damn close to tearing apart. But, like I said, we came together and stayed by one another, and that got us to where we are now.”  
  
Ruby looks at him through the blur of tears in her eyes.

“So, even if you aren’t coping well, know that you have the rest of your team to help you in any way you can.”

He switches off the game and tucks his scroll back into his pocket. “Now, I have to get going, so you take care, alright?”

She is left sitting cross-legged in the middle of the room.

She does have her team. She does know everyone’s there for her. Yang, Weiss, even Blake - they’ve been helping her with her struggles. The tragedy was in the past. Her team is her present and will be her future.

She will be fine. She will be alright. She will be well.

**Author's Note:**

> Finally a break from YOI and an addition of a fandom to my fandoms list.
> 
> I wrote this at 1 in the goddamn morning when I still couldn't get myself in the right mood to write angst (because it's the best I can write about), so I apologise if it's not angsty or good enough. I probably projected too much of my own experiences onto poor Ruby, I'm not sure, but hope you enjoyed.


End file.
